Variations on a Theme part 2

by Ryan

My wife was heading up a baby shower this weekend, and she went to Costco to buy a few supplies.  One of the things she bought was a port wine cheese ball, and the other was a cheddar cheese ball.  I know that when I go to a party, I rarely touch the cheese ball, because I generally don’t like cream cheese.  Here in the Southern US almost all cheese balls at parties are made with cream cheese, which is just a pity.  Of all the ‘cheese’ options available, ‘cream’ is not real cheese, nor is it any good at being a faux cheese.  The two cheese balls from Costco contained cheddar cheese, a very small bit of filler, and that was about it.  You could tell it was almost pure cheddar from the taste, which was great.  Naturally I googled for recipes for cheese balls to see how the internet as a whole viewed at-home cheese balls.

Cream Cheese cheese ball

Cream Cheese cheese ball

Google pointed me to as the first hit.  The cheese ball recipe of the day is 8oz cream cheese and 3 cups of various cheeses.  Now that isn’t too bad, but it isn’t my perfect dream cheese ball.  Of the top 5 most popular cheese balls only one used any cheese other than cream cheese, and it only asked for 1 cup shredded cheese.  What a waste, as these faux cheese balls don’t even contain any cheese!

I dream of a world where cheese balls are made of gouda.  Or swiss.  Sharp cheddar slightly warmed so you can easily attack it with a cracker.  Give me a nice provolone ball.  I would even respect a goat cheese ball, though I wouldn’t eat any (tip: goat cheese is an acquired taste. Most American’s don’t eat goat cheese on a regular basis).

So to cheese balls, I say this: We need more variations.  Cream cheese, plus worcestershire does not a cheese ball make.